I had to explain a little bit of some pain I was feeling and it had to do with understanding the difference between gravel and pebbles. To be more accurate (and discrete) -- "how to comprehend signs that there is a gravel or pebble situation."
What does that mean?
Big DX'peditions -- the big ones -- the ones where you think -"WTF? We're going there? On that boat? On that aircraft? Eating that? Pooping in that? Sleeping on that? In that weather? For how many weeks?"
Those kinds.
(Note: I'm all in for those kinds. Bring me the hardship and the storms and the fucked up situations. I'm not worried about it.)
Those are the DX'p that really matter when dealing with gravel vs. pebbles. The analogy I'm poorly making is that people are sometimes like gravel or sometimes like pebbles. Gravel people are rough, snag on things, scratch and get stuck -- not always intentionally, often not intentionally, but sometimes -- in some cases -- gravel just gets worked into a mode of rubbing the wrong way.
Pebble people are smooth. They've been in the river a while. They've rolled around, been bumped perhaps, a few edges worn here, worn there. After a while they are quite beautiful! Why do rock-tumblers produce smooth edged samples instead of rough gravel shards? Because that's what time, and some gentle friction and patience does.
Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast -- a phrase in aerospace engineering for sure. But for DX'p we can say Pebbles are smooth and smooth is good for everyone.
I had to discuss my gravel problem with my DX doctor. I had to explain that it wasn't as easy as I thought to figure out when gravel gets in the mix. I was the gravel. I think. Or, maybe there was a temporary gravel avalanche and everyone got covered in it, or maybe all of the above. It doesn't matter.
What does matter is that we learn how to shape ourselves into pebbles. And even if we still have a rough edge, we need to be aware of the need to keep trying to smooth that out.
The quickest way to go from gravel to pebble is the old trick of simply communicating about what our values and goals are. Communicate about how we tell the truth about what we are doing, and we're going to be up front about every decision we make for the benefit of the team. We share information not because we think the other gravel (or pebble) wants to hear it, but because they need to hear it.
And, pebbles need to get lined up and sorted so they can be fitted in a nice combination, a team, a mix.
Be the pebble.
If you're like gravel once in a while, find out why and chances are there is a simple answer to make yourself smooth again.
(Watch out for the penguins)
